A Tale of Two Biddies (League of Literary Ladies) Read online

  I glanced to the right . . .

  Richie Monroe was headed the other way, carrying a cooler that someone had asked him to stow.

  Richie was what I would charitably call dumpy. Tattered jeans, raggy T-shirt, scuffed sneakers. He wasn’t anywhere near as tall as Levi, and he had a paunch that didn’t surprise me. According to what I’d heard, when Richie wasn’t doing odd jobs, he was downing cases of beer at home or bellied up to one of the island’s many bars.

  He stared at the cooler in his hands. “I’m allowed to be here.” The rain fell harder, and Richie lifted his chin and sent a laser look in Mike’s direction. “Until I move away from this pit, I’m allowed to be anywhere I want. It’s my island, too.”

  “Yeah, if you don’t blow up the whole place one of these days.”

  Mike pushed past Richie just as lightning split the sky directly overhead and thunder blasted loud enough to make my collarbone vibrate.

  I darted to my right, eager to get on dry land, too, and I would have done it if a couple things hadn’t happened all at once.

  A blast of wind slapped against my back.

  Another streak of lightning turned the inky blackness so blinding white that I squeezed my eyes shut.

  Waves made the boats all around me bob and slap against the dock.

  And Richie Monroe screamed for help.

  He was in the water.

  Berkley Prime Crime titles by Kylie Logan

  Button Box Mysteries

  BUTTON HOLED

  HOT BUTTON

  PANIC BUTTON

  BUTTONED UP

  League of Literary Ladies Mysteries

  MAYHEM AT THE ORIENT EXPRESS

  A TALE OF TWO BIDDIES

  Chili Cook-off Mysteries

  CHILI CON CARNAGE

  A Tale of

  Two Biddies

  Kylie Logan

  THE BERKLEY PUBLISHING GROUP

  Published by the Penguin Group

  Penguin Group (USA) LLC

  375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014

  USA • Canada • UK • Ireland • Australia • New Zealand • India • South Africa • China

  penguin.com

  A Penguin Random House Company

  A TALE OF TWO BIDDIES

  A Berkley Sensation Book / published by arrangement with the author

  Copyright © 2014 by Connie Laux.

  Excerpt from Death by Devil’s Breath by Kylie Logan copyright © 2014 by Connie Laux.

  Penguin supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin to continue to publish books for every reader.

  Berkley Prime Crime Books are published by The Berkley Publishing Group. BERKLEY® PRIME CRIME and the PRIME CRIME logo are trademarks of Penguin Group (USA) LLC.

  For information, address: The Berkley Publishing Group,

  a division of Penguin Group (USA) LLC,

  375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014.

  ISBN: 978-0-425-25776-0

  eBook ISBN: 978-0-698-13734-9

  PUBLISHING HISTORY

  Berkley Prime Crime mass-market edition / February 2014

  Cover art by Dan Craig.

  Cover design by George Long.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.

  Version_1

  For librarians everywhere who foster the love of reading and the importance of books

  Contents

  Front Sales

  Also by Kylie Logan

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Special Excerpt from Death by Devil’s Breath

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  You might be reading A Tale of Two Biddies at any time of the year. But I finished writing it at the end of summer and I’ve just returned from a visit to South Bass Island, where the League of Literary Ladies mysteries are set. I got the chance to enjoy island hospitality and island life, from the ferry ride to and from the mainland (always one of my favorite parts of the trip), to motoring around in a golf cart (the preferred island mode of transportation), to enjoying some of the fabulous wine produced by local wineries.

  South Bass is a vacationer’s paradise set to the beat of Jimmy Buffett songs. There’s history around every corner. In fact, the island is close to the sight of Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry’s famous victory at the Battle of Lake Erie during the War of 1812. He’s the one responsible for the famous quote, “We have met the enemy and they are ours.”

  In winter, a couple hundred hearty souls remain on the island, but it’s summer when most of the action happens, and it’s summer that A Tale of Two Biddies celebrates. No, as far as I know, there’s never been a Bastille Day celebration on the island, but hey, islanders are always looking for a little fun. Maybe they’ll start a new tradition!

  As with every book, there are people I need to thank including my husband, David, and my brainstorming group—Shelley Costa, Serena Miller, and Emilie Richards—without whom there would be no Guillotine! Thanks, too, to the folks over at Berkley, to my agent, and to my Airedale, Ernie, who patiently listens when I talk out plot problems and hardly ever interrupts.

  1

  “It was the best of thymes, it was the worst of thymes!”

  I was mid-munch, a shrimp dripping cocktail sauce on its way to my mouth, and I needed one second to grab a napkin to keep the spicy sauce from landing on my new yellow T-shirt. While I was at it, I focused my eyes from the bunch of gloriously green herbs that had just been thrust in front of my nose to the other bunch of dried-out herbs next to it, and beyond, to the ear-to-ear grin of Chandra Morrisey.

  “Get it?” Chandra was so darned proud of her little play on words, she hop-stepped from one sandal-clad foot to the other, those small bouquets of thyme jiggling in her hands like maracas. I swear, I thought she’d burst out of her orange capris and the diaphanous lime green top studded with sequins. “Do you get it, Bea? It was the best of thymes . . .” She held the freshest bunch of herbs at arm’s length. “It was the worst of thymes.” She flashed the other bunch. “You know, just like the first line of A Tale of Two Cities.”

  “I get it!” I grinned, too, because let’s face it, it was a balmy evening in the middle of July and I was sitting on a dock on an island in Lake Erie with the women who were once just neighbors and were now my friends, enjoying the Monday-before-a-huge-tourist-week celebration for merchants and residents that had been organized by the local chamber of commerce. What was there not to grin about?

  I finished off that piece of shrimp and pop
ped out of the folding chair where I’d been lounging. Of the four of us in the League of Literary Ladies—South Bass Island’s one and only library-sanctioned discussion group—Chandra was the least likely to actually read one of our assigned books. I didn’t hold that against her. What Chandra lacked in literary ambition she made up for in sheer exuberance, a wacky take on everything from her wardrobe to her love life, and a skewed look at the world that included crystals, incense, and tarot cards.

  That’s why I was careful to keep the skepticism out of my voice when I asked, “So, what do you think of Charles Dickens?”

  “Best of thymes, worst of thymes.” As if it would hide the fact that her answer was as evasive as the look she refused to give me, Chandra stuck out each hand again, and the pungent, woody scent of thyme fragranced the evening air. Dawn in Paradise. That’s how Rudyard Kipling had once described the aroma of thyme. I couldn’t say if he was right or not; I only knew that I’d lived on the island for six months since escaping an ugly stalking incident in New York, and things were going well. Just as I’d once dreamed of doing, I’d turned my life not just around, but completely on its head, and created a new career and a new, peaceful existence for myself. My bed-and-breakfast—Bea & Bees—was booked every weekend from now until the end of summer, and I’d settled into a life that was slower paced and far more satisfying than the mile-a-minute stress mess I’d lived in New York. For me, relocation was the right choice. For me, South Bass Island was Paradise.

  Even if once in a while, there were reminders that even Paradise had its perils.

  A blast of wind off the lake snaked its way up my back, and in spite of the heat, I shivered. One murder does not a Paradise destroy, I reminded myself. Just like I reminded myself that, thanks to me and the other Ladies, the murder that had happened a couple of months before had been solved, the perp caught, and order restored to Paradise.

  It wasn’t going to happen again, I told myself. This was the heartland, not the big city, and I was grateful for that.

  Just like I was grateful that Chandra had remembered to bring the thyme from her garden. I gave myself a swift mental kick to get my thoughts out of the past so I could concentrate on the present and the party atmosphere that enveloped the docks and spilled over into DeRivera Park across the road. Except for the boat slip right next to Luella’s, which was empty, our fellow islanders were everywhere, chatting, unwinding, and gyrating to the beat of the steel drum band playing near the entrance to the dock. People milled around us, comparing notes about the tourists and how good (or bad) their business had been so far that summer. They shared plates of the food, and recipes when they were asked, along with a camaraderie that could only be forged on a four-mile-long spit of land three miles north of the Ohio mainland.

  Party, I told myself, and took a deep breath. Paradise, I reminded myself, letting that breath out slowly. This wasn’t the time to think about murder, and it sure wasn’t the place. Just to prove it to myself, I grabbed the good-looking bunch of thyme from Chandra, stripped the elfin leaves from their stems, and sprinkled them on the salad I’d brought as my contribution to our potluck dinner.

  “Did I hear someone say it was time to eat?” Luella Zak jumped off her thirty-foot Sportcraft boat and joined us on the dock. “Kate’s coming,” she added, glancing over her shoulder toward the fishing charter she captained. “She’s just opening the wine.”

  “One red.” Like Chandra had with the herbs, Kate held out the bottle for us to see and joined us around the folding table we’d set with a cheery red, white, and blue cloth and red acrylic dishes and glasses. “One white. Both from Wilder Winery. I hear they make some darned good wine.”

  Kate ought to know. She was a Wilder and owned the winery.

  “Oh no, you know the rules!” If Kate wasn’t holding those bottles, I think she would have swatted Chandra’s hand when Chandra eyed up the salad and reached for a plate. “Toast first. Eat second.”

  “Toast first.” I handed around glasses and Kate filled them. “What are we toasting?”

  “The chance to relax a little before another busy week,” Luella said, and raised her glass. Luella was in her seventies, and as tough as any skipper I’d ever met. She was short, wiry, seasoned by the lake on the outside and as gentle as a lamb on the inside. Of all of us, she was the one who loved books and reading the most, and she’d willingly joined the League, not been coerced into participating like the rest of us had. “I’m always grateful for fishermen, but I’m just as grateful to be on dry land once in a while and let my hair down.”

  “You got that right, sister!” Chandra squealed with delight. She spun around, taking in all our fellow revelers, and raised her voice. “Here’s to a great party!”

  “And the opportunity to enjoy good wine.” Kate lifted her glass. “And good food.”

  “And good friends,” I added. A few months ago, their reactions would have been predictable. Kate would have rolled those gorgeous green eyes of hers. Chandra would have looked as sour as if she’d bit into a lemon. Luella was as steady and predictable as the lake where she made her living was not; then, like now, she simply would have nodded. Fortunately, things had changed since the days when Kate, Chandra, and I were hauled into court for our neighborhood bickering and sentenced to a year of discussing books on Monday evenings. I, for one, was grateful. “Here’s to the way things have turned out.” I glanced around the circle and smiled back at the friendly expressions that greeted me. “Things are different and I’m so glad.”

  “To friendship,” Luella said, and we clinked our glasses, sipped our wine, and filled our plates. Before I had a chance to dig in, though, Gordon Hunter stopped by to chat. Gordon lived on the mainland but had a summer cottage not far from Put-in-Bay, the island’s one and only village. He was a mover and a shaker who’d been hired by the chamber of commerce to fill in for an employee out on maternity leave, and if this party he’d organized was any indication, he was going to be good for business.

  “Le fait de s’amuser?” No, Gordon wasn’t French. At least I didn’t think he was French. What he was, was the driving force behind the Bastille Day celebration planned for the rest of the week. Bastille Day on South Bass Island? Of course, it’s not an official holiday, but islanders are always looking for a way to cook up some fun, and tourists are always looking for any excuse to join in. It was a stroke of genius on Gordon’s part, and the reason, of course, that the League of Literary Ladies had chosen A Tale of Two Cities, the Dickens classic about the French Revolution, as our latest read.

  Gordon gave Chandra a friendly poke. “That’s, ‘Are you having fun?’ for those of you who haven’t been to Paris lately.”

  I had been to Paris. Just about a year earlier in fact, but my French was as rusty as my wanderlust. I took his word for the translation and offered Gordon a glass of wine.

  He wasn’t a sipper. He took long, quick drinks. Something told me that was the way Gordon attacked all of life. He was a little older than middle-aged, with salt-and-pepper hair, and as suave as a toothpaste salesman. While the rest of us were dressed casually and comfortably, Gordon was decked out in khakis, a white shirt, and a navy blazer with brass buttons. He didn’t look as much like a PR guy as he did an admiral.

  Maybe he knew what I was thinking because when the guy who owned what was advertised as “the longest bar in the world” came by, Gordon gave him a crisp salute.

  “It’s going to be a helluva week,” Gordon said. He reached for a shrimp and dragged it through cocktail sauce. “Everybody ready for the crowds?”

  “I’ve got charters every day,” Luella said.

  “And we’re doing winery tours and tastings every afternoon and evening,” Kate added. “I put the notice online a couple weeks ago and we’re packed for every single one of them.”

  “My rooms are filled,” I put in. “Thanks again for sending the band my way,” I told Gordon.

  With the wave of one hand, he acted like it was nothing. “Folks around
here tell me you’re from the Big Apple, Bea. I figured if anyone could handle a rock band called Guillotine, it was you. They check in yet?”

  “Tonight,” I told him, and reminded myself I’d have to be back at the B and B by then. “Apparently, rock musicians aren’t early risers.”

  Gordon refilled his glass before he moved on to the next boat and the next group of partiers. Watching him, Luella shook her head. “Can’t blame the poor guy for drinking. You heard what happened last night?”

  I hadn’t, but that was no big surprise. My B and B was on the outskirts of what was officially considered downtown, and I was often the last to hear the latest gossip.

  This time, though, apparently Kate and Chandra hadn’t heard, either. As one, we pinned Luella with a look.

  “Gordon let Richie Monroe help him out on his boat.”

  Kate’s mouth dropped open. Chandra gasped. After six months on the island, I knew Richie well enough. He was fifty years old or so, the guy people called when they wanted small jobs done. Richie shoveled snow in the winter. He ran errands for tourists. He sold ice cream out of a cart on weekends. He carried bags at the grocery store.

  I looked from one woman to the other. “I’ve had Richie do some things for me around the house. He pulled the weeds in the front flower beds. And he cut the grass the weekend my lawn service guys couldn’t make it because of a funeral. Richie’s reliable.”

  “Reliable, maybe.” Something told me it was no big secret—what is on an island this size?—but Chandra leaned forward and lowered her voice. “But he’s not exactly careful.”

  “Wasn’t careful last night.” Another head shake from Luella. “He slammed Gordon’s boat into the dock. The way I heard it, he did some damage.”

  Automatically, my gaze traveled down the dock to where Gordon was chatting it up with Alvin Littlejohn, the magistrate who’d sentenced us to be a book discussion group, and his wife, Marianne the town librarian. “Gordon doesn’t look especially upset.”